Series 5 ~ Stay connected and why *your* connection is important to me

This week we talked about the importance of connection, and I encourage you to stay connected over the summer until classes start up again in September. I know, you’re already *really* busy and summer is supposed to be a break, so am I really asking you to stay connected? You bet, but maybe not in the way you think.

Stay connected to your heart by doing things that bring you joy ~ If that means going out and joining things, then do it. If that means hiding under the covers sometimes and reading a book, do that. I encourage you to also explore new ways to joy, otherwise, it could be just a rut.

Stay connected to the people in your life who bring you joy ~ At least once a week try to spend some “meaningless” time with people you love, and who love you (and get you!). I personally find that it’s in the little moments, when you least expect, that joy sneaks in and we’re reminded of our connections to each other. Doing the dishes together (does anyone still do this? Maybe not … ) but at least have a meal together, or go for a drive. Talk about your day. Keep track of three unusual things you see each day and share them with your nearest and dearest. Ask them what they’re thinking, planning, hoping. Keep the connections that nourish.

Stay connected to environments that nurture and sustain you ~ Whether it’s stopping to smell the roses or communing mountainside with the trees, this summer find places that remind you why it’s fabulous to live in a body that’s connected to the physical world. Float in a pool. Recline on your porch. Close your eyes and breathe deep. Your body needs rest and relaxation ~ make it genuine relaxation ~ don’t think about anything ~ just breathe …

Stay connected to your body by savouring foods that bring you joy ~ Summer can be a time of eating all the wrong things at all the right times. Picnics, BBQs, nights out for a change. I always say if you’re going to cheat, cheat good. Savour your food transgressions, don’t wrap them in guilt ~ it ruins the flavour, sometimes while you’re actually eating, but more often, for hours and days afterward. The flavour lasts only a second or two, while the guilt lives on long after. So enjoy an ice cream with a child if the perfect moment presents itself. And if you think guilt is going to be a problem (and it might!) just have a smaller cone than you first thought you’d have, and take more time between licks to ask the child you’re with about their world and enjoy the interactions that happen during unexpected times.

Stay connected to your body by moving it in joyful ways ~ Sway to some music. Play with the dog. Or cat. Or kids. Skip stones on the water. Swing in a hammock. Rock in a chair. Play Frisbee.  Find something that moves your body in a way that doesn't cause pain, but move. Revel in being alive and out in the world whenever you can. Your body will thank you for taking it out for a stroll, even if you have nowhere, in particular, to be when you start. Take advantage of the summer in every way you can. Marvel at sunshine and leaves. At how nature bursts out all over ~ filling our world with flowers and bees and sunsets. Too often we get trapped in our heads and responsibilities and forget we’re connected. Each one to the world, and each one to each other. Relish the connections you have.

So, why is connection so important to me?

I wanted to share with you some of my personal history and why connection is so important to me. It's the reason I agreed to volunteer teach this class. I think about connection quite a bit. Mostly I think because I was aware at quite a young age that I wasn’t connected to my peer group at school. In fact, I was disconnected by several factors that I had no control over.

My parents were poor, which kept me from participating in school events that needed money to participate. My parents were also Jehovah’s Witnesses, which isolated me from the school population when it came to things like singing the national anthem, or the Lord’s Prayer (yes, they used to do this when I was growing up). I was shy, I wore glasses. I was overweight, I was bookish. Everything set me apart. My father changed jobs quite often when I was growing up, too. I very seldom stayed in the same school for a whole year, sometimes I went to three schools in one year. At age 8, I gave up remembering classmates’ names. I wouldn’t be there in six months, so why bother? This may explain why I still have trouble remembering peoples’ names, even though I technically have a “good memory”.

Other side effects of not being connected showed up later in life. As a young adult, I moved from one town to another without even realizing that I HAD made connections with people that were meaningful. I didn’t KNOW I would miss them till it was too late, and I grieved the loss. Or I made quick connections with less than honest people because I didn't know how to properly assess people’s character. Only now as an adult do I truly see the value of connections ~ of making them, cherishing them, valuing them. In fact, one of the really amazing things to me about this program is the way we are all connected. I can be a teacher in this class, and a student in another. As Kate often says: This program belongs to us ~ all of us! It’s why I have all the tables set up so we face each other, rather than the more usual teacher-student arrangement. I WANT us to be more connected, I WANT you each to get to know each other and learn from each other and SHARE with each other.

A few years ago at work, someone outside the company asked me what my job title was. I thought about it for a few minutes, and then said: “I think I’m the glue.” In other words, I saw my role as seeing how people and processes and materials and timelines all connected together, all worked together to create a product, and because I think of the whole as being connected, the health of people involved is part of what needs to be considered in order for my “work” to be successful in my mind.
I think this “connected” view of things has made me a happier person. My childhood experience of disconnection no longer shapes my world and my decisions. I see myself connected to everyone I meet. I see how all my actions have repercussions in my life (and sometimes in other people’s lives as well).

I see how the past is connected to the present is connected to the future. It can be worrying sometimes, particularly where politics is involved, because I see how decisions made by those in power can have effects they didn’t anticipate, but being connected is much better in the long run.

That's probably enough to chew on for a first post. In my next post, I'll talk about the connection exercise we did and class and have some suggestions for staying connected to me (and my creative pursuits) over the summer if you're interested. And I promise more pictures and fewer words!

In the meantime, here are pages 1 and 2 of the class handouts: