Sometimes our resolutions don’t last as long as we expect. Usually because in our eagerness for “results” we place boundaries that are unrealistic. Too strict is the usual culprit ~ there are so many distractions and temptations outside the boundaries we set. But without setting some kind of boundaries, our path to success is even trickier. The secret is to limit yourself in the most constructive way.
Our lives are full of boundaries. Some are physical, like our bodies, our houses, our cars, or a country’s border. We use those boundaries to say who (or what) gets in or out. We also set boundaries all the time on the behaviour we tolerate from others. If you set no boundaries, they get to choose how you’re seen. But, if you build a massive wall, you run the risk of missing out on life’s adventures and meeting people who could change you for the better.
Health-wise, keeping certain foods out of your mouth is a good goal, and it’s made easier when you keep them out of your kitchen, which is easier if you keep yourself out of those aisles in the store. See what I mean? Boundaries can be your friend.
The reason I started down this thought path was because of art (as usual). I started to notice that I create more interesting art when I limit myself, either with time, materials, or a colour palette, or some combination of all three. Once I exclude the usual fall-back options, I’m forced put things together in new, unexpected ways. Not only that, but my whole brain is engaged ~ I’m not on autopilot. This is why I’m always encouraging you to try new things in class. It’s only paper. It’s only paint. If you really hate it you can collage over it. You can cut it up and turn it into a pattern. Or (gasp!) throw it away.
When I start excluding my usual options I get different, and often very pleasing, results. Most of which I wouldn’t have predicted, let alone tried if I’d stuck to the “tried and true”. In art, which is such an open field for play, a certain randomness of materials and processes can create new visual connections on the page, and can lead to other new realizations (like my sideways thought path) about life in general.
What if I can have a more interesting life by setting different boundaries for myself? What if I allow myself to try stuff I never tried before? And by “stuff” I mean exercises and food. When it comes to setting boundaries for a healthier new year, it may look like we have less options than we have in art, but if we set smart boundaries and aren’t on autopilot, we’ll probably get interesting results there, too.
On a serious note, we all have the very firm deadline of our lives. At a certain point, we get more serious about how we spend our time because we become more interested in having a better quality of life. We stop letting ourselves waste time, we experience the moment we're in more deeply because we know it (whatever it is, good or bad) won't last forever.
Boundary Seeting Exercise: In your journal write a short list of boundaries that would be useful to have in your life. Think about how your life would benefit from placing boundaries on people, time, things. It could be as simple as restricting your own screen time, to keeping objects in a logical place in your home. It could be as radical as limiting time you spend with negative people. It could be health-related: restrict what food you buy in the store so you don't have to face temptations on a daily basis when you're at home.
GOALS ~ the WHY & the HOW exercsie: Think of boundaries in terms of your goals. Write down a goal you really want to achieve this year. Below this, write WHY you want it in your life. Now step back from both the GOAL and the WHY of it, and write a numbered list of the blocks you see in your life that might keep you from achieving your goal. Now, go down that numbered list and write another numbered list: for every block, write a logical solution for that block.
For example, here's one of mine from when I did the exercise:
Goal: Eat Better Food
Why: Better nutrition = better health.
Blocks: 1) I don't know how to cook some things. 2) Cooking healthy takes more time. 3) Sometimes I'm afraid to try new foods. 4) I'm not sure I have the tools I need to make some things.
Solutions: 1) Learn how to cook healthier by watching online videos and asking friends who do know how to cook. 2) Make cooking a higher priority on my schedule. Learn how to cook in batches so there are healthy leftovers for multiple meals. 3) Sheesh! Just get over yourself, it wouldn't kill you to just try stuff! Maybe you won't like it, but at least you tried it and you'll know. 4) Ask people what they think are the essential tools you might need and shop wisely.
And here are your handout pages:
One more post to come - the last page of the handouts and a sneak peek at my journal and the pages I've created.
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